Religion

• Every morning I spend fifteen minutes filling my mind full of God; and so there's no room left for worry thoughts. -Howard Chandler Christy
• You ask: what is the meaning or purpose of life? I can only answer with another question: do you think we are wise enough to read God's mind? -Freeman Dyson
• Those who turn to God for comfort may find comfort but I do not think they will find God. -Mignon McLaughlin
• Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. -Malcolm Muggeridge
• God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins. -Mark Twain
• Maybe the atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman. -Anonymous
• You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God. -Anonymous
• Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. -Mary C. Crowley
• Through ignorance, a common man considers his own religion to be the best and makes much useless clamour. -Ramakrishna Paramahansa
• Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith. -Adel Bestavros

• I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is. -Albert Camus
• I find that doing of the will of God leaves me no time for disputing about His plans. -George Macdonald
• All men can be reached by flattery, even God can (what, after all, is prayer?) -Italo Bombolini
• A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth of philosophy bringeth a man's mind about to religion.-Francis Bacon
• The eyes see what the heart loves. If the heart loves God and is single in this devotion, then the eyes will see God whether others see Him or not. -Warren Wiersbe
• In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. -Blaise Pascal
• Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. -William R. Inge
• Religion brings to man an inner strength, spiritual light, and ineffable peace. -Alexis Carrel
• This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. -Dalai Lama
• With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. -Steven Weinberg

• Don't pray to escape trouble. Don't pray to be comfortable in your emotions. Pray to do the will of God in every situation. Nothing else is worth praying for. -Samuel M. Shoemaker
• Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. -Leo Buscaglia
• Any fool can count the seeds in an apple. Only God can count all the apples in one seed. -Robert H. Schuller
• Religion is essentially the art and the theory of the remaking of man. Man is not a finished creation. -Edmund Burke
• All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness ... the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives. -Dalai Lama
• Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. -C.C. Colton
• Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair. -G.K. Chesterton
• He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all. -Eleanor Roosevelt
• The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible. -George Burns

Wisdom

• Cheerfulness is what greases the axles of the world. Don't go through life creaking. -H.W. Byles
• A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness. -Bernard de Fontenelle
• Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Joseph Addison
• On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so. -William R. Inge
• Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. -Fyodor Dostoevsky
• If you want to be happy, be. -Leo Tolstoy
• Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. -Jacques Prévert
• Goals are dreams with deadlines. -Diana Scharf Hunt
• If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? -Sydney J. Harris
• To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. -George MacDonald

• How glorious it is and also how painful to be an exception. -Alfred de Musset
• Tap into people’s dignity and they will do anything for you. Ignore it, and they won’t lift a finger. -Thomas Friedman
• Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. -Mill Smith
• When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. -Wayne Dyer
• The good news is that the bad news can be turned into good news when you change your attitude. -Robert H. Schuller
• It is what we think we know already that often prevents us from learning. -Claude Bernard (1813-1878 French Physiologist)
• A problem is your chance to do your best. -Duke Elington
• In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt
• The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity. -Francis Maitland Balfour
• Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. -Eddie Cantor

• If I am not for myself, who will be? -Pirke Avoth
• Long-term planning is not about making long-term decisions, it is about understanding the future consequence of today's decisions. -Gary Ryan Blair
• Real success in life means the individual's conquest of himself, it means how he has bettered himself not how he has bettered his fortune. The great question of life is not What have I? but What am I? -William George Jord
• To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. -Donald A.Adams
• When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier. -Roy Disney
• There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us. -Edward Wallis Hoch
• Everbody sets out to do something, and everybody does something, but no one does what he sets out to do. -George Moore
• By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. -Confucius
• The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. - Allan K. Chalmers
• Do not wait for extrordinary circumstances to do good; try to use ordinary situations. -Jean Paul Richter

• People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend. -Walter Savage Landor
• Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for your old age. -Christopher Morley
• The fruit of Silence is Prayer,The fruit of Prayer is Faith,The fruit of Faith is Love,The fruit of Love is Service,The fruit of Service is Peace. -Mother Teresa
• It is better to believe than to disbelieve, in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibly. -Albert Einstein
• Everything you are against weakens you. Everythingt you are for empowers you. -Wayne Dyer
• Patience and preservence have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. -John Quincy Adams
• I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step, if that is of no avail will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at
• The more you teach positive ideas to others, the better you learn them yourself. -Brian Tracy
• Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. -L. J. Peter
• Sometimes the best gain is to lose. -George Herbert

• To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. Ken S. Keyes, Jr.
• No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt
• Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
• Children have neither past nor future; and that which seldom happens to us, they rejoice in the present. -Jean de La Bruyere
• No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. -Doug Horton
• Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. -Richard M. Nixon
• Decide promptly, but never give your reasons. Your decisions may be right, but your reasons are sure to be wrong. -Lord Mansfield
• When a man tells you what people are saying about you, tell him what people are saying about him; that will immediately take his mind off your troubles. -Edgar Watson Howe
• The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones. -Ibn Gabirol
• Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for your old age. -Christopher Morley

• The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. -Kin Hubbard
• Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy. -Aristotle
• Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. -James Thurber
• He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander. -Aristotle
• Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. -W.W. Ziege
• I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them. -John Stuart Mills
• The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Ann Landers
• It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. -Sally Field
• The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. -Mark Twain
• The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. -Ben Stein

• If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead. -Gelett Burgess
• A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. -Jean de La Fontaine
• I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. -Mark Twain
• No single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born. -Antoine de Saint
• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. -Jules Renard
• I always felt that my greatest asset was not my physical ability, it was my mental ability. -Bruce Jenner
• There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. -Logan Pearsall Smith
• The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. -James Openheim
• I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. -Javan
• I have made mistakes, but I never made the mistake of claiming that I never made one. -James Gordon Bennett

• We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our worst enemies. -Roderick Thorp
• Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. -Frank A. Clark
• The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
• Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. -Lou Erickson
• A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Worrying is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere. - Van Wilder
• A wise man will desire no more than what he may get justly, use soberly, distribute cheerfully, and leave contentedly. -Benjamin Franklin
• You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. -Mahfouz Naguib
• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. -Doug Larson
• Wisdom is meaningless until your own experience has given it meaning and there is wisdom in the selection of wisdom. -Bergen Evens

• Wisdom and goodness are twin-born, one heart Must hold both sisters, never seen apart. -William Cowper
• It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. -Walter Lippman
• The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation. -William Hutton
• A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog. -Jack London
• Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. -Elmer G. Letterman
• The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K. Chalmers
• I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances. -Martha Washington
• Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides. -Margaret Thatcher
• If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies. -Albert Einstein
• Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. -Martin Buxbaum

• It is an illusion to think that more comfort means more happiness. Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to be needed. -Storm Jameson
• One half of life is luck; the other half is discipline - and that's the important half, for without discipline you wouldn't know what to do with your luck. -Carl Zuckmayer
• Every positive value has its price in negative terms, and you never see anything very great which is not, at the same time, horrible in some respect. The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. -Pablo Picasso
• Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. -Judy Garland
• Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
• Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. - Frank Outlaw
• These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future. -Vernon Cooper
• Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much; Wisdom is humble that he knows no more.--William Cowper
• Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. -Tao Te Ching
• Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know. -William Saroyan

• Anyone can become angry--that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way--this is not easy. -Aristotle
• Do not ask for fulfillment in all your life, but for patience to accept frustration. Do not ask for perfection in all you do, but for the wisdom not to repeat mistakes. Do not ask for more, before saying "Thank You" for what you have already received. -Brenda Short
• Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. -Ann Flanders
• When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. -Billy Graham
• Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
• God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. -The Serenity Prayer
• The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. -Thomas Szasz
• Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. -Doug Larson
• We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. -George Bernard Shaw
• Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. -Judy Garland

• The biggest difficulty with mankind today is that our knowledge has increased so much faster than our wisdom. -Frank Whitmore
• These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future. -Vernon Cooper
• Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life. -Sandra Carey
• Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it. -David Starr Jordan
• Information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, wisdom is not truth, truth is not beauty, beauty is not love.
• It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense. -Robert Green Ingersoll
• The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth. -Pierre Abelard
• We can be Knowledgeable with other men's knowledge, but we cannot be wise with other men's wisdom. -Michel de Montaigne
• Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. -Tom Wilson
• Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. -Elbert Hubbard

Work

• When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' -Don Marquis
• To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness. -John Dewey
• Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do. -David Brent
• The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit. -Dwight Morrow
• If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. -Ogden Nash
• To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measures with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. -Donald A. Adams
• Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. -Henry Ford
• Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. -Theodore Roosevelt
• Work is not man's punishment. It is his reward and his strength and his pleasure. -George Sand
• The harder I work, the luckier I get. -Samuel Goldwyn

• The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work. -Harry Golden
• When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. -Henry J. Kaiser
• The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. -Richard Bach
• Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still? -J. Paul Getty
• All things are difficult before they are easy. -Thomas Fuller
• Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. -Peter F. Drucker
• We work to become, not to acquire. -Elbert Hubbard
• Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction. -Anne Frank
• The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today. -Elbert Hubbard
• Nobody can be successful unless he loves his work. -David Sarnoff

• You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. -Jim Rohn
• You can work hard, you can have excellent educational credentials, but how many points would your attitude score? -Catherine Pulsifer
• Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -Demetri Martin
• Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. -Dale Carnegie
• When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers. -Colleen C. Barrett
• Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. -Marian Wright Edelman
• The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. -Pearl S. Buck
• I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. -Thomas Jefferson
• Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal. -Vince Lombardi
• Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. -George Patton

• Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need. -Voltaire
• It is easy to sit up and take notice, What is difficult is getting up and taking action. -Al Batt
• People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do. -Edgar Watson Howe
• Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. -Theodore Roosevelt
• I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better. -Samuel Butler
• There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. -John W. Raper
• People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it. -Jack Canfield & Mark Hansen
• It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted. -Mary O'Connor
• In a world where there is so much to be done, I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do. -Dorothea Dix
• I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. -Marie Curie

• Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind. -Emily P. Bissell
• Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do--do it and let it speak for itself. -Martin Vanbee
• The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. - Slappy White
• Work is not man's punishment. It is his reward and his strength and his pleasure. -George Sand
• If I get to pick what I want to do, then it's play...if someone else tells me that I have to do it, then it's work. -Patricia Nourot
• When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible. -Nancy Coey
• Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success! -David O. McKay
• Work is much more fun than fun. -Noel Coward
• The idle man does not know what it is to enjoy rest. -Albert Einstein
• I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but should get you pretty near. -Margaret Thatcher

• Before the reward there must be labor. You plant before you harvest. You sow in tears before you reap joy. -Ralph Ransom
• Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. -Dale Carnegie
• Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. -George Carlin
• There is no fatigue so wearisome as that which comes from lack of work. -Charles H. Spurgeon
• I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. -Charles Lamb
• If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. -Ogden Nash
• Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success.-David O. McKay
• The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. -Robert Frost
• To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy -Bette Davis
• If a man does only what is required of him, he is a slave. If a man does more than is required of him, he is a free man. -Chinese Proverb

• You can always find reasons to work. There will always be one more thing to do. But when people don't take time out, they stop being productive.They stop being happy, and that affects the morale of everyone around them. -Carisa Bianchi
• Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. -Vincent Lombardi
• We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. -Frank A. Clark
• Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. -Sam Ewing
• My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition. -Indira Gandhi
• The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. -Robert Frost
• Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success. -David O. McKay
• I am a strong believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. -Benjamin Franklin
• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -Thomas A. Edison
• My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. -Abraham Lincoln

SucessNFailure

• Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing. -Adolph Monod
• Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. -Arnold H. Glasow
• I have failed over and over again in my life. And that’s why I succeed. -Michael Jordan
• Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. -Kahlil Gibran
• Faith is to believe in what you do not yet see, the reward for faith is to see what you believe. -Detroit Red Wings
• Patience and preseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. -John Quincy Adams
• A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying. -John Burroughs
• We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated. -Maya Angelou
• The secret to a rich life is to have more beginings than endings.-David Weinbaum
• You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing. -Dale Carneige

• Success is a state of mind, if you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success. -Dr. Joyce Brothers
• Don't focus on the days when you failed. Focus on all of the days you won. Keep a chart, monitor your successes, and don't give up! -Robert Butterworthn
• If I lose, I'll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do. -Joe Frazier
• The vision of a champion is someone who is drenched in sweat at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching. - Anson Dorrance
• There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. -Gen. Colin L. Powell
• Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. -Ambrose Bierce
• To try and fail is at least to learn. To fail to try is to suffer the inestimable loss of what might have been. -Chester Bernard
• Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's. -Billy Wilder
• The man who has done his level best... is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure. -B.C. Forbes
• Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it.... Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching. -Tennessee Williams

• The closer one gets to the top, the more one finds there is no top. -Nancy Barcus
• In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. -Anthony J. D'Angelo
• Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. -David Frost
• There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap." -Carrie Fisher
• Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good. -Joe Paterno
• Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. -Albert Einstein
• The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success. -Paramahansa Yogananda
• If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. -Woody Allen
• Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. -William Feather
• Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. -Robert F. Kennedy

• Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats. -Amos Bronson Alcott
• Failure is success if we learn from it. -Malcolm S. Forbes
• Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. -Norman Vincent Peale
• Success comes when you do what you love to do, and commit to being the best in your field.- Brian Tracy
• Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure.- Jim Rohn
• The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching. -Dennis Green
• Success is a great deodorant. It takes away all your past smells. -Elizabeth Taylor
• Instead of thinking about where you are, think about where you want to be. It takes twenty years of hard work to become an overnight success. -Diana Rankin
• Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. -Arnold H. Glasow
• Success is dependent upon the glands--sweat glands. -Zig Ziglar

• Apparent failure may hold in its rough shell the germs of a success that will blossom in time, and bear fruit throughout eternity. -Frances Watkins Harper
• All honor to him who shall win the prize,The world has cried for a thousand years;But to him who tries and fails and dies,I give great honor and glory and tears. -Joaquin Miller
• Let us realize that: the privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, the love of work is success! -David O. McKay
• Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.--William Saroyan
• Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. -Bill Hybels
• If you don't quit, and don't cheat, and don't run home when trouble arrives, you can only win. -Shelley Long
• I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill Cosby
• It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.-Roger Babson
• God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; heads you win - tails, you lose. -Anonymous
• Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means you haven't succeeded yet. -Robert H. Schuller

• If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. -Woody Allen
• Failures are divided into those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.
• Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
• A man may fail many times but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. -J. Paul Getty
• I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. -George S. Patton
• The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching. -Dennis Green
• A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
• Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know. -William Saroyan
• I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind. -George Bernard Shaw
• In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. -Bill Cosby

• You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures. -Charles Noble
• Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. -Don Wilder and Bill Rechin
• I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. -Thomas Jefferson
• Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem. - Henry Kissinger
• Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. -Albert Schweitzer
• It is a mistake to suppose that people succeed through success; they often succeed through failures.
• Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits. -Robert Louis Stevenson
• To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don't isolate." -Michael Jordan)\
• Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time." -Arnold Glasow
• One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation." -Arthur Ashe

• It takes time to succeed because success is merely the natural reward of taking time to do anything well." -Joseph Ross
• Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. -Henry Ford
• A man may fall many times, but he won't be a failure until he says that someone pushed him. -Elmer G. Letterman
• Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... it just means you haven't succeeded yet. -Robert Schuller
• The man who has done his level best... is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure. -B.C. Forbes
• Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. -George Smith Patton
• Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. -David Frost
• Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. -Sir Winston Churchill

Motivational Quotes

• The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs. -Vance Havner
• Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -T.S. Eliot
• Plan your work and work your plan. -Napolean Hill
• I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. -William Ernest Henley
• You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. -Barbara Sher
• There are two primary choices in life to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. -Dr. Denis Waitley
• Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. -William Jennings Bryan
• The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. -Theodore Rubin
• You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt
• Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. -Goethe

• Your most valuable asset can be your willingness to persist longer than anyone else. -Brian Tracy
• Destiny is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for it is a thing to be achieved. -William Jennings Bryant
• To achieve something you've never achieved before, you must become someone you've never been before. -Bria Tracy
• The secret of happiness is not doing what one likes, but liking what one has to do. -James M. Burrie
• The older I grow, the more I listen to people who don't say much. -Germain G. Glidden
• I do not ask for any crown but that which all may win; nor try to conquer any world except the one within. -Louisa May Alcott
• I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. -Philip Brookes
• It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. -W. Somerset Maugham
• Not doing more than average is what keeps the average down. -William M. Winans
• Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -T. S. Eliot

• Anger blows out the candle of the mind. -R. G. Ingersoll
• Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. -General George S. Patton
• You never fail until you stop trying. -Florence Griffith Joyner
• The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to be continually fearing you will make one. -Elbert Hubbard
• Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be. -Jose Ortega y Gasset
• Avoid competency traps. Do not stay only where you are good at things, Go out and be challenged. -Andrew Creighton
• Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it. -Charles L. Allen
• Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. -Evan Esar
• I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure--which is: Try to please everybody. -Herbert Bayard Swope
• Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. -Leon J. Suenes

• Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. -Ralph Blum
• Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
• Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. -William B. Sprague
• The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible. -Arthur C. Clarke
• If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes. -St. Clement of Alexandra
• It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. -Benjamin Spock
• Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality. -Erich Fromm
• To the question of your life you are the answer, and to the problems of your life you are the solution. -Joe Cordare
• Don't let anyone steal your dream. It's your dream, not theirs. -Dan Zadra

• What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity. -W. Clement Stone
• Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. -Stephen R. Covey
• Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. -William Arthur Ward
• Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will. -Dr. Robert
• The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will. -Vincent J. Lombardi
• The most important thing about motivation is goal setting. You should always have a goal. -Francie Larrieu Smith
• In my experience, there is only one motivation, and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it. -Jane Smiley
• People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing -- that's why we recommend it daily. -Zig Ziglar
• Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. -Jim Ryun

• If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. -Denis Waitley
• Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius
• When we accept tough jobs as a challenge and wade into them with joy and enthusiasm, miracles can happen. -Arland Gilbert
• Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. -William James
• We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action. -Frank Tibolt
• A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright
• Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself--your strengths and your limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others. -Judith M. Bardwick
• To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream. Not only plan but also believe. -Anatole France
• It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. -Elinor Smith
• Action itself, so long as I am convinced that it is right action, gives me satisfaction. -Jawaharlal Nehru

• It’s not the oath that makes us believe the man, but the man who says the oath. -Aeschylus
• If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. -Denis Waitley
• Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first. -Frederick B. Wilcox
• To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top. -Robert M. Pirsig
• Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. -Groucho Marx
• There are no great people in this world, only great challenges which ordinary people rise to meet. -William Frederick Halsy, Jr.
• When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us. -Alexander Graham Bell
• Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.--Marie Curie
• Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish. -Cecile M. Springer
• If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. -Henry David Thoreau

• Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense. -Thomas A. Bennett
• Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress. -Alfred A. Montapert
• Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. -Warren Buffett
• To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking. -Goethe
• Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. -Robert Brault
• The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. -Benjamin Mays
• If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. -Woody Allen
• If you're made of the right material, a hard fall is bound to result in a high bounce.
• It is your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude. -Zig Zigler
• Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine. -Bill Vaughan

• Adversities cause some men to break; others to break records. -William A. Ward
• Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -John Wooden
• I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated. -Howard Stern
• If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundation under them. -Henry David Thoreau
• Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing. -Adolph Monod
• Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out. -Art Linkletter
• We must stop assuming that a thing which has never been done before probably cannot be done at all. -Donald M. Nelson
• It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult. -Seneca
• Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -Thomas A. Edison

Funny Jokes

• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
• Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.
• Kalyug Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han.Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
• Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!
• Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !
• Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU
• Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai...Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.
• Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:Red: WildBlack: SexyBlue: RomanticPink: SeductiveWhite: CalmYellow: Time to change it...
• Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!
• Ek c Raja...Ek c Rani...Dono mar gaye khatam kahani......Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?

• Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.Reverse the letters GFEDCBAGirls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again
• Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
• Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!
• A Baniya walking on the road suddenly bent & touched d road n said furiously: 'Loki thuk vi aewein sutde ne jiven Rupeya peya hove!'
• A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
• What did the Zero say to the Eight?Nice Belt
• Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?
• Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Gal: To phir rehne do...
• A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce hua tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise?She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the...
• Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.

• Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.
• Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don’t u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don’t parpoz d ROZ ROZ!
• If U Don’t Eat Junk food, Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com
• Another Moon?... PossibleAnother Sun?... PossibleAnother Sky?... PossibleAnother person Like U?... Impossible'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.
• I'm leaving India!Actually Aishwarya is pregnant and media is suspecting me. Tum bhi nikal lo, uski kaam wali bhi pregnant hai.
• Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!
• It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI
• Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.
• Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.
• Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

• Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
• Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
• An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
• Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
• A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?Push......Paa.
• Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.
• Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana
• Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha aato ho.Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.
• Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack
• Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

• Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy
• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.
• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.
• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
• Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de
• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVAPhir likha: SHUBH LABHPhir likhne lage: U R WELCOMEAur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
• J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
• Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?Munda: HaanSharaab?HaanDrugs?HaanJua?HaanSab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?Munda: Haanji, HIV+
• Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

• Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy
• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.
• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.
• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
• Rabba dukh na devin yaar mere nu, saanu chahe dukhan da pahaar de de,Phire nawe HERO JET cycle utte yaar mera, saanu bhaven purani Mercedes car de de
• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVAPhir likha: SHUBH LABHPhir likhne lage: U R WELCOMEAur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
• J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
• Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?Munda: HaanSharaab?HaanDrugs?HaanJua?HaanSab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?Munda: Haanji, HIV+
• Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

• Ab tak meri life ek khuli botal thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko miley
• Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena
• A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
• A friend is: Who lends you...Pen in School...
• In French: Bon jourIn Spanish: Te QuiroIn Italian: TeamoIn Yugoslav: Volim TeIn English: Good MorningIn Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?
• Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?A: Because they need a map.
• An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.
• Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.Frog: When n where?Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab
• Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
• Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

• Teacher to class: A for?Class: AppleTeacher: Jor Se BoloClass: Jai Mata Di
• Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...
• Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai
• Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?Both don't exist.
• Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
• It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS
• Teri awaz sunne ko jab taras jata hoon, to ghisa pita cd player chala leta hoon. Teri surat ko jab taras jaata hoon, to cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt hona chaiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye, bahane to apne aap hi mil jate hain
• Red Rose: LuvYelloe Rose: FriendshipWhite Rose: PeaceWhich Rose for u?Nima Rose. Tan ki Durgandh Dur Kare, De Taazgi
• Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai
• Thought for the future generation: Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

• Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath thaMoral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
• U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media
• Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layiMother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewanSanta: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya
• Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50
• Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more
• A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."
• A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?French: Toilette pepper!
• Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!Bush: Wow! Howc many?Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut
• Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear
• What's the definition of a skeleton?A striptease that went just too far...

• Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte
• Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.TT: Ticket hai?Sadhu: NahinTT: ChaloSadhu: Kahan?TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
• Girl: If u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi…
• Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks
• I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you
• A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.
• When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m with u, U have money & Bar is open
• In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
• Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC
• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!

• Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALABut girraffe was not eating. Why?Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND
• 1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungiMaan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungiMaan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
• At a Rly stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kgShe removed sandal-56 kgThen removed jacket-53kgThen dupatta-52 kgCoins khatam.A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol
• Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
• Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti
• A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat
• Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin..... Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi....
• Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
• Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga!
• Teri Maa Di,Tere Peo Di,Teri Behan Di,Tere Bhra Di,Teri Bhabi Di,Tere Pure Khandan Di,Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai

• Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai
• Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se... par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se...
• Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai
• Judge: U r crossing the limits.Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?Judge: How dare you call me saala?Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
• Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.Saheb: Kal aana.Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain
• Bhagwan apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de! Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de! Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja
• Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?Salman Khan is coming
• May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
• Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.
• Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

• FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
• What do u call a woman in heaven?An AngelA crowd of woman in heaven?A host of AngelsAnd all woman in heaven?PEACE ON EARTH!
• Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do
• What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
• I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben
• Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
• Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Galfriend ko I luv u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.
• Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
• Always start your day with a lot of S E XS-mileE-nergyX-citementso make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!
• Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?A pun is a sudden shift of wit!

• A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'
• Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
• What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?Wow! New Underwear.
• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
• Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
• There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.
• Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!
• It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.
• Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
• Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda cOh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda cNa paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c

• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.
• Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.
• How do u know when kids start to grow up?Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!
• A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.
• Fill in the blank with yes or NO only._______I M NOT A Male.Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.
• Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
• Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain
• Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!
• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r NitratesGal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.
• Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

• Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.
• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!
• Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!
• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?Your bum cheeks!!
• Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!
• SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.
• I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!
• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'
• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

• When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur
• Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already received hundreds.
• So Sweet is ur SMILE,So Sweet is ur STYLE,So Sweet is ur VOICE,So Sweet is ur EYE,see .......how Sweetly I Lie.
• The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?Dil Chhata Hai.......
• Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!
• Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.
• God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.
• I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!
• When words fail... eyes work,when eyes fail... heart works,and when heart fails... to kya?,samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'
• The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

• Geet Ka Saar: SMS woh gyaan hai jo baantne se badta hai, isiliye he praani tu bill ka moh tyag de aur SMS kar, isi se tera manushaya janm safal hoga.
• Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
• Tum sada haste raho, sada muskurate raho, khush raho, gun-gunate raho, hamesha mast raho. Mera kya hai, log tumhe hi PAGAL kahenge!
• May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
• Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.Student: WOW !
• I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.
• Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?A: Lifebuoy.
• When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!
• Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.
• If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our website: www.kutteapniaukatmeinrah.com.

• Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?Son: I`m gonna join the army.Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.
• Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.
• Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...
• Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!
• Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?Your Own Stupid!
• When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people'll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u!
• This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?Animal Planet!
• If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.
• Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.
• Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

• If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.
• Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
• Q: Why do men fart more often than women?A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.
• Namaskar. This is All India Anti -Sleep Association Mid Night Service. Our Aim is 2 Disturb the Sleep of Others. Thank You.
• A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.
• Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.
• When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
• My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.
• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.
• Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.

• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!
• Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
• Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain.
• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
• Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.
• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.Who?Ur bums.
• Osama to Big B: How are you??Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.
• Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!
• Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?A: A Moti-vaiting.

• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.
• Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!Premika: Dhokla.
• Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.
• Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
• Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.
• The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.
• When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.
• Look at the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor.

• A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!
• You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.
• Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.
• God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
• I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again
• The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
• I've written a poem for you:Twinkle twinkle little star,you should know what you are,and once you know what you are,Mental hospital is not so far.
• What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.
• Banta: How does an attorney sleep?Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.

How various People choose their Wives
��BeggarBhagwan ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,Doosre ki nahi to apni de de,Bhagwan tujhe ek ke badle do dega,Hillery hogi to Monika bhi dega
���LawyerI hereby beg to solicit myself as an
�., eligible candidate for the post of husband after marriage. The person whom,,,,,,,, I�m looking for should��..strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. And objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.
���BoatmanMust be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send the photograph of motorboat.
���BankerWanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
���ShaayarBadi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,To yaroo ab k

About Love

• Where words fail, action speaks. Where action fails, eyes speak. Where eyes fail, tears speak. And where everything fails, LOVE SPEAKS!
• To love is a duty and right. To be loved is a gift and luck. To love someone who loves u is an achievement. To be loved by someone whom u love is LIFE!
• U r the reason I wake up in the morning, u r the reason I find a way to smile, u r the person who can change everything around when it's going bad. Luv U
• Love ur life coz life is a long journey to go. Life is a game yet to be played more. Life is a question yet to be answered more. Life is a challenge yet to be faced more. So live ur life as long as u can. Every moment is lovable in life.
• Luv is what I see in ur smile. Luv is what I feel in every touch u give. Luv is what I hear in every word u say. Luv is what we share everyday. Luv U!
• Never ask for a kiss, just take it.Never ask for a hug, just give it.Never ask do u Luv me? Say I Luv u.Never say I can't live without u, say I live for U
• Happiness is not something u postpone for the future. It's something u design for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I hv by remembering U!
• Luv doesn't ask who r u? Luv only says u r mine. Luv doesn't ask where r u from? Luv only says U live in my heart. Luv doesn't ask what do u do? Luv only says U make my heart beat. Luv doesn't ask why r u far away? Luv only says u r always with me. Luv doesn't ask Do u love me? Luv only says I LUV U.
• Don't search luv, let luv find u. It's called falling in luv, coz u don't force urself to fall, u just fall and there will be someone to catch U
• In life Luv is never planned nor does it happen for a reason. But when Luv is real, it becomes ur Plan for life and ur reason for living.

• Golden Facts of Life:-When someone loves U, u don't realise it...When U realise it, it's too late... U always luv the one who leaves U & leave the one who loves U.
• Dedicate time to enjoy, it's the secret of youth. Dedicate time for friends, it's the path to happiness. Dedicate time to luv n b loved, it's source of joy n satisfaction
• Let luv be the guide to ur dreams, let luv be the light to ur heart, let ur luv be the reason why somebody else's heart still continues to beat.
• Every failure is a lesson well-learned, Every Success is a battle well-fought, and True Luv is a jewel well-kept, in one's heart.
• No matter how ugly U think u r, but the who Luvs U believes that U R the most beautiful & irrestiable thing on the Earth & no one can change that
• May the spring of your love be tender and sweet, the summer be rich and fulfilling and deep, the autumn be warm and rewarding, complete, and always... let there be love. Amy Cassidy
• It's funny how big of an impact u hv on me. It's like when I see u, u don't even hv to speak all u can do is smile & it can make my day & that's how I remember my reasons 4 loving u
• God'll not give u a burden u can't handle. So, if u find urself in a mess that's impossible to resolve, take it as a compliment-God thinks u can do it! Gud Morning
• I hv tried to move on but with every guy I feel more & more like I'll never be able to replace u. And the sad thing is... I know I hv already been replaced
• A part of U has grown in me. And so u see, it's U & Me together forever & never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart

• So, I will stand here forever,If forever's what it takes,because you are my forever,and forever always waits.
• You r the one that I adore; You r everything I asked for & so much more. You r my angel oh so fine, I've found a luv to last a lifetime.
• If u r in luv, accept it, respect it & njoy it. But if u r not, then don't worry coz sumone, sumwhere must b wrapping up so much luv for u
• If u Love sumone then add some wings to ur Love. After having wings if it still decide to stay with u, then it's a True Luv
• A Friend's Luv says: If U ever need anything, I'll be there.True Luv says: U'll never need anything, I'll be there
• If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain; in order to love you gotta risk the pain
• Life is a book we all read it. Luv is a blessing we all need it. Always be happy, always have a smile coz. Remember in this world we are just for a while!
• A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. Thanks for being such a lady to me
• Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well. -Vincent van Gogh
• Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. -Kay Knudsen

• Sometimes the world gives me so many reasons to hate it but whenever it happens I just stop & think of u n say: How can I hate this world when u r a part of it
• Love is not how long u've been together; not how much u've given or receive; Not how many times u've helped each other – It’s how u value each other
• Tears can sometimes be more special than smiles..... For smiles can be given to any one but tears are only shed for people we love.
• We've known each other,For a long long time,But I never really noticed,All the magic in your eyes,I've been around you,A thousand times before,And you've always been a friend to me,But now I'm wanting more
• I luv u not only for what u r, but for what I am when I'm with u. I luv u not only for what u have made of urself, but for what u r making of me. I luv u for the part of me that u bring out.
• Tonight I ask the stars above,How I'll ever win your love,What do I do,What do I say,To turn your angel eyes my way?
• I searched through books & leafed through cards; For words that wud convey, what I had in my heart, but when I sat down to write, all I can write was....I Luv U
• What the heart gives away is never gone, but kept in the hearts of others, from dusk to dawn. Love you from the core of my heart. Be my Valentine.
• U'll always be mine 4 now & 4ever. U'll always be mine 4 u r my treasure. U'll always be mine please tell me its true. Please be mine 4ever. I'll always luv u
• If Roses were Black and violets were brown, my love for you would never be found but roses r red and violets are blue, all I want to say is I LUV U!

• Luv is like a cloud... luv is like a dream... luv is 1 word and everything in between... luv is a fairytale come true... Coz I found luv when I found U
• I may b innocent to know what luv is, I may not show it to u. I may not luv u the way it should b, but I’m always willing to luv u the way I understand it.
• The way u look into my eyes, it scares me,The way u say I Luv U, it scares me,The way u know just what to say, it scares me,The ways u scare me I luv it.
• Luv is born with the pleasure of luking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation!
• When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's somthing. When u luv someone & they luv you back, it's everything.
• In life luv is neither planned nor does it happen 4 a reason but when the luv is real it becomes your plan 4 life n reason 4 living.
• A kiss is just a kiss till u find the 1 u luv. A hug is just a hug till u find the 1 u're always thinkin of. A dream is just a dream till it comes true. Luv was just a word till I heard it from u.
• Luv not one, Luv not two Luv d one who luvs u true,Luv not three, Luv not four Luv d one who luvs u more, Luv not five, Luv not six Luv d one who really sticks, Luv not seven, Luv not eight Luv d one who really waits.
• At 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.
• I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorow.

• I've notice that being with u, I smile a little more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter & life is much sweeter. I Luv U
• Don’t rush in luv for it never runs out. Let luv be the one to knock at ur door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that ur feeling is for sure.
• A bell is no bell 'til u ring it, a song is no song 'til u sing it & luv in ur heart wasn’t put there to stay-luv isn’t luv 'til you give it away.
• I hate u when u smile at me coz u make me crazy. I hate u when u talk to me coz u make me run out of words. I hate u when I see u coz u make me luv u more.
• I luv my eyes when u look into them; I luv my name when u say it; I luv my heart when u luv it; I luv my life when you are in it.
• If sumone throws a stone towards u, throw luv towards him but if sumone throw luv towards u, then sit for a while & think coz luv hurts more than stone.
• Devote time to enjoy; it's the secret of youth. Devote time for friends; it’s the path to happiness. Devote time to luv n b loved; it's the source of pleasure.
• Give laugh to all but smile to one; Give cheeks to all but lips to one; Give luv to all but heart to one; Let everybody luv u but u luv one.b
• What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. Luv U!

• God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day and I just caught one that's so nice and true... it's you!
• Aeni fariyaad meri ki meinu yaad rakhi, Mere naal beete pal abaad rakhi, Jede pyar karde ne tenu unna wichon mera pyar yaad rakhi, Bhave meinu sabna toh baad rakhi
• I’m a PAPER, u can write ur feelings, scribble ur anger, use me 2 absorb tears. Don’t throw me after use but when u feel cold burn me to feel warm coz I Luv U
• Little keys can open big locks, simple words can express great thoughts. A text from u never fails to make me smile the whole day through.
• To Luv some1 is madness, 2b loved by some1 is a Gift,Loving some1 who loves u is a duty, but being loved by some1 whom u luv is LIFE.
• When it hurts to look back and you are scared to look ahead look beside you I'll always be there 4 you.
• I love the way you make me happy, and the ways you show your care. I love the way you say, 'I Love You,' and the way you're always there.
• If you r in a dark room, you find blood everywhere and the walls are shaking- don't worry friend, u r at the safest place, you r in my heart.
• U want & u get, that's luck, U want & u wait, that's time. U want but u compromise, that's life. And U want & u wait & u don't compromise that's LOVE.
• Feelings are many but words are few, clouds are dark but sky is blue; Luv is a paper, life is glue, every thing is false, only My Luv is TRUE.

• I don't care how many lips u’ve kissed, how many shoulders u’ve embraced & how many times u’ve said, I Luv U! All I care is not be the first but to be ur last!
• A kiss that is never tasted, is forever and ever wasted. -Billie Holiday
• We cannot be together,But we'll never be apart,For no matter what life brings us,You’re always in my heart.
• Loving is not how u forget but how u forgive, not how u listen but how u understand, not what u see but how u feel & not how u let go but how u hold on.
• Sometimes my eyes get jealous of my heart. Know why? Coz you always remain close to my heart and far from my eyes.
• If loving u is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. My luv for u is strong & brighter than any light. The way we must go is long but we'll win every fight.
• Let love be the guide to your dreams, let love be the light to your heart, let your love be the reason why somebody else's heart still continues to beat.
• You put the fun in together,The sad in apart,The hope in tomorrow,The joy in my heart.
• If I could give u one thing in life, I would give u the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would u realise how special u r to me!
• I looked at a sweet, beautiful rose, and then I looked at you, and I kept looking at you, for the rose isn't as beautiful as you. 2

• Never waste an opportunity 2 say 'I love U' to someone u really like, coz it is not everyday u'll meet the person who has the magic to let u fall in love.
• If I were to describe true luv then I would describe it as what a snowman did to a snowwoman: He gave her warm hug n they both melted in each other’s arms.
• Hearts could only luv 4 a while u can put many relations in a file, u can make a desert from the Nile, but u can’t stop my smile when I c ur name on my phone.
• What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U
• Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.
• 'I Trust You' is a better compliment than 'I Love You' because you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust.
• When we were kids, we couldn't wait to grow up n fall in luv. Now that we are grown up, we realise that wounded knees were easier to heal than broken hearts.
• Find arms that will hold u at ur weakest, eyes that will c u at ur ugliest, heart that will luv at ur worst, if u hv found it, u've found luv.
• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
• What is the difference between blood and you? Blood enters the heart and flows out but you entered the heart and stayed.